


Familiar Villains

by DefaltManifesto



Series: 30 Day Song Lyric Challenge [12]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heart-to-Heart, Internalized racism, M/M, Racism, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 02:59:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12998388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: Soren grapples with being Branded.





	Familiar Villains

**Author's Note:**

> YES I KNOW IT'S BEEN DONE TO DEATH but I wanted to write it and it fit today's lyric really well - also I've never seen people explore the more internal hatred Soren probably feels given how mis-treated he was by Laguz. 
> 
> Today's lyric is from Control by Halsey:
> 
> "And I've grown familiar/with villains that live in my head"

Soren’s earliest memory is a child screaming as a power bigger than his small form can handle whips through him and propels his bullies back. It’s not surprising that they think he’s a spirit charmer then. After all, most mages couldn’t light a candle until they were ten, though prodigies had done it sooner. And Soren had blasted a child clear across a field. So he ends up with an old man who’d rather kill him than train him and once it’s revealed that he’s not a spirit charmer but a Branded, it’s out on the streets with him.

It all hurts, but the thing that hurts the most is the way the power seems to be too much. He’d thought it was because he was a spirit charmer. But if he’s not, if he’s just him and not channeling any dead spirits, then why does he feel like he’s pressing out on his skin and struggling to contain something so much bigger than he is?

           

-.-

 

Stefan is the first Branded he meets and his fear of someone else finally knowing the truth about him keeps him away. He catches Stefan watching him sometimes. His expression is unreadable and for once, Soren gets to feel what others do when he looks at them. Soren watches him back though, mostly on the battlefield. Stefan moves with unmatched grace. He makes Mia and Zihark both look like clumsy toddlers and he begins to wonder if Stefan is like him in more ways than one.

If the Laguz blood from centuries ago that’s finally manifested on their skin also gave them something extra. Stefan excels at the sword to an inhuman degree. Soren has the same ability with magic. The easy way to get an answer would be to just ask Stefan what he knew, but Soren still hesitates. He’s not quite ready to acknowledge just what he is to another person.

 

-.-

 

It isn’t until Stefan gets ready to leave Crimea that Soren chases him down. Ike knows what he is now, and Soren doesn’t care what anyone else thinks of him as long as Ike is still his friend. With the hard part over, it’s easier to reach out to someone else. Soren catches up with Stefan on the outskirts of town, and the other man doesn’t even pretend to be surprised.

“I knew you couldn’t resist,” Stefan says.

“If there was someone else I could talk to, I’d talk to them,” Soren says.

Stefan laughs. “Easy there, no need to bare your teeth at me. So, what question are you dying to ask?”

Soren flushes and for a moment, contemplates telling Stefan to get lost but then he swallows his pride. “Do you have that feeling too? The one where you’re too big for your body?”

The mirth in Stefan’s eyes vanishes. “Yes. But not many Branded feel the way you and I do.”

“What do you mean?” Soren asks.

Stefan glances around before grabbing his wrist and tugging him into the nearest alleyway.

“My blood is from the Lions.”

Soren stares at him. “But the Lions are only-“

“Royalty, yes,” Stefan says. “Not that their King would ever accept a bastard who’s also a Branded. I wouldn’t want him to anyways. My parents were both Beorc so whatever royal blood I have is fairly diluted.”

"And you’re saying I’m the same?” Soren asks.

"No, but like the royal Lion blood what you have is too much for your Beorc body,” Stefan says. “You’re like Petrine. Somewhere in your line, you’d find a Dragon.”

He’d had his suspicions. He and Petrine could have been siblings after all, but she hadn’t even seemed aware of her status nor had anyone else because if they had…well, Daein was painfully ignorant of anything to do with Laguz, so it worked in her favor.

“So the reason I’m able to wield so much magic is because-“  
“Your blood, yes,” Stefan says. “Laguz don’t use Beorc tools and they can’t use magic.

Beorc can. You have a body that can channel magic and because of your blood, you have a greater capacity to do so then any other Beorc.”

“That’s why you wield your sword with the speed and strength of a Lion,” Soren says. It answers his scientific inquiry, but it doesn’t help the harder part. “What do you do with it, that feeling?”

Stefan frowns. “I’m not sure. Fighting helps, I’m sure you’ve noticed that much at least. The rest…just tire yourself out on the days that it’s unbearable. Then you don’t think about it.”

"That’s all the advice you can offer?” Soren turns away. “I knew this was useless.”

Stefan grabs his wrist and tugs him back. “It’s not easy. I never lied and said it was, but there’s others like us in the desert. They would understand you.”

“I’m staying with Ike,” Soren says, glaring.

"It’s not just one of the other,” Stefan says. “Just come visit.”

Soren yanks his arm away and leaves.

 

-.-

 

Knowing the source of his power doesn’t make Soren’s life easier. In fact, he finds it significantly more difficult and does battle with his own thoughts. His only interactions with the Dragon Laguz he’s had are Nasir, who betrayed them, and the man Ashnard had twisted into a beast to ride on as a wyvern. He supposed there were the red Dragons who’d ripped their boat free from the reef but that only made his anxiety worse. He had _that_ sleeping inside him.      

“Do you think maybe it bothers you because you hate the Laguz so much?” Ike asks.

Soren goes rigid against him, then pushes himself up to glare down at his bedmate. “Your afterglow talk needs some work.”

Ike flushes and looks away. “Sorry.”

Soren leans down and presses a kiss to his forehead. “It’s fine.” He stretches out on top of him again and sighs. “Perhaps you’re right. In my defense, they hardly treated me properly.”

“I know.” Ike’s calloused fingers trail down his spine. “But maybe that’s why. You have the blood of people who have always despised you in your veins. That’s…hard to grapple with. I don’t know what I’d do.”

“You don’t hate Laguz, you’d be just fine,” Soren says.

“If I’d gone through what you did, I don’t think so,” Ike says. “Cut yourself some slack, and the Laguz too. Ranulf and Mordecai like you just fine now, and even Reyson does and he doesn’t really like anyone.”

“It’s not that easy,” Soren says, more tired than angry.

“I know. But if learning to not hate yourself is too much right now, start with not hating them,” Ike says. “I mean, I don’t want you to hate yourself at all, but I get that you can’t just change that overnight.”

Soren turns his head, chin propped up on Ike’s chest. “You’re smarter than you let people think.”

“Losing Greil made me learn quick, you know that,” Ike says.

Soren buries his face in his neck. “I know…thank you.”

He can almost hear Ike frown. “For what?”

“For having patience while I work through this,” he says. “I know it’s a lot, especially since I mostly just think about it instead of telling you what I’m thinking.”

“I’ll drag it out of you eventually,” Ike says, hand going back to sliding up and down his skin. “Your thoughts aren’t so scary when they’re out in the light.”

“No…I suppose they’re not.”


End file.
